Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Biggest Decision Ever!

Yes, in case you are wondering, Cody and I have been having "the talk". Well, several talks to be exact. We are deciding if we want to try again. And shortly after he left, I would have given a faster than fast YES! Now, the best I can manage is a cautious maybe. I have honestly forgiven him for the things he has done. Yet somehow that doesn't take away the fear of the future. So does that mean I haven't truly forgiven him? And it is not just me. I know my lovely family was hurt and upset by his actions also. And I'm sure it goes both ways. So how on earth do you even begin to attempt to put this big ole humpty dumpty back together again? For the life of me, I don't know. Do I still love him? Yes. But does love trump everything else? I don't know. If it were just the two of us involved, perhaps it would be easier. But there are children, inlaws, and even cats involved! I know I will never get married again if both parties aren't one billion percent in it for the long haul. Whether or not it is with my ex-husband.

Ok... on a much lighter note, we adopted three little fish named Shera, Xena, and Rainbow Brite. One week later, Shera, the yellow one, died. :( Boo. Another trip to the potty for us. It is down to the last two warriors.

That is all.


Nat said...

Wow. We totally need to chat friend. I am currently a single mom myself and wonder if my relationship will ever be healed with my kids dad.

Mama Corleone said...

Yeesh!! What a decision! Hmmmm, well when I got divorced I was still completely in love with my ex. It broke my heart, but I learned that loves does not conquer all, especially when kids are in the mix. So with that in mind (even though you are probably not seeking advice on the matter) I would say that you cannot see what Cody will do in the future. Even he cannot. If you do get back together with him only do it if you are prepared to relive the same marriage again (the same conditions etc.), but this time stay in it.